the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
I don’t go running because I want to be thin.
I go running because
and tell you
this is literally my favorite running post of all time. hands down.
of all the so-called inspirational posts about runing, this one makes me want to pick up running most.
i’m so upset
I just realized that the reason ghosts say Boo! is because it’s a latin verb
they’re literally saying ‘I alarm/I am alarming/I do alarm!!
if it comes from the latin word, they’re actually saying “I’M YELLING!” which is even cuter
do they speak latin because it’s a dead language
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
Technology then and now
at first i thought it was the same number then I noticed it said GB and damn
As one of the tech review magazines said a few years ago when the first 32 GB micro SD cards came out, “At last it is possible for a single human being to accidentally swallow all of the data collected by the Apollo Program.”
now that is a review
It’s 2014, you could swallow the data value of the library of alexandria at this point, hell give it enough time you can fart reading rainbows
I love the idea of technological progress being measured in terms of how much civilization one can accidentally eat.
me digging your grave
My first time on Tumblr, and this was the first gif. As soon as I saw it I knew I was already in to deep.
DO IT. LISTEN TO HOW TO BE A HEARTBREAKER DEFINITELY WORTH IT
where is his dick
What a boss
AND IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
NO ONE’S GEEK GAME IS STRONGER THAN COLBERT’S GEEK GAME.
there may be a day I stop reblogging this, but today is not that day
THERE’S TIMES WHEN I WANT A RUSTIC CABIN IN THE WOODS AWAY FROM ALL SOCIETY
THEN THERE’S TIMES WHEN I WANT A MODERN ASS HOUSE
THEN I’M LIKE I’LL ACCEPT NOTHING MORE THAN A VICTORIAN MANOR
THEN I WANT A PENTHOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF NEW YORK
THEN I WANT ONE OF THOSE HOUSE MADE OUT SHIPPING CONTAINERS
THEN I WANT A FRENCH CHATEAU
BUT I ALSO WANT A TREE HOUSE
AND A LITTLE COTTAGE ON THE OCEAN
HOUSES ARE SO COOL